


Coffee and Ash

by RiotFalling



Series: Riot’s SteveTonySeptember [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Because my heart can’t take it, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prompt: Tony Sacrifices Himself, SteveTonySeptember, Tony is a self-sacrificing idiot, and Steve has a lot of feelings about it, very little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 02:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20575181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiotFalling/pseuds/RiotFalling
Summary: Steve finds Tony in the lab, because of course he does. Tony's not in medical like he definitely should be, he's not even resting. He's just going right back to work and Steve can't tell if he feels more worried or terrified or furious but it's definitely some combination of the three.





	Coffee and Ash

**Author's Note:**

> There's already a million versions of this story, but I tried to put a different spin on it. I will never get sick of this trope and I hope you aren't yet, either. Enjoy!

Steve finds Tony in the lab, because of course he does. Tony's not in medical like he definitely should be, he's not even resting. He's just going right back to work and Steve can't tell if he feels more worried or terrified or furious but it's definitely some combination of the three.

"What the hell was that?" Steve's voice comes out loud, and shaking, even his hands are still shaking. They have been since Tony stormed out of the debrief, shrugging off everyone's concern with a sharp grin.

“I thought you were done yelling at me." Tony doesn't look up and he just sounds resigned. His eyes look bruised in the blue light of the holograms, glowing and gorgeous and haunted.

"I'm not yelling at you!" He definitely is, can't help himself. "Damn it Tony, I'm sick of you taking these hits and then trying to play it off like it's nothing! Especially hits meant for me, I can't- I can't keep watching you-"

Steve knows that he's probably giving away too much, giving away everything. All of his worry and fear and the fact that even the idea of losing Tony makes his heart freeze up in his chest, but he can't stop himself, can't stop the words from spilling out. There's only so many times he can see Tony get blasted out of the sky before he loses his mind.

And Tony still isn't saying anything so Steve keeps right on going. "I just, I want to know why you keep doing this."

Tony really must be tired, because he doesn't snap back, doesn't even look up. “The world needs you more, Cap, it's as simple as that.”

“You don't actually believe that.” Steve's heart clenches in his chest because he's known Tony long enough, now. Steve knows him, can tell when he's lying. And that rings true, painfully true, something Tony really believes and Steve can't handle it.

“Of course I don’t, I'm an egomaniac, only ever thinking about myself. The only person I care about is me." Tony finally pushes himself to his feet, but he's moving away, turning his back. He's still lying, still moving like every breath hurts him and it hurts to watch.

Steve is angry all over again, because that's the least true thing he's ever heard. Tony cares too much, cares himself half to death. “Bullshit. Why can't you just be honest with me for once?”

Tony laughs, bitter, his shoulders hunching defensively. He still won't look at Steve. “I'm not even honest with myself. You're not special.”

And that's a lie, it's a total lie and Steve's heart trips in his chest. He's been paying attention. He knows how to pull out the slivers of truth in what Tony doesn't say. “So I am special?”

Tony finally turns to look at him, spins around blushing and sputtering. “Where the hell did you get that from? Did you not hear what I just said?"

"I can tell when you're lying to me, Tony." Steve steps forward, slow and cautious, like Tony is something he needs to be terribly careful with.

Tony looks like he needs care, needs someone to take care of him. There are already dark bruises popping up on his skin, dark flakes of blood still caught in his eyebrow, shadowy circles under his eyes.

Tony's voice is steady despite the way the rest of him is shaking. "Fine, you're very special. Congratulations. Are we done here?"

"No, Tony, we're not done." Steve is still angry, and worried, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides. When he steps closer Tony doesn't back away, just tips his chin up defiantly.

"Then what do you want?" Tony's voice is hard, but his eyes are wide, pleading, like he really wants to know. Like he's offering anything, and isn't that a terrifying thought.

“I want you to not die! I want you to stop getting hurt. Especially not for- for me.” Steve's anger is gone, he's just worried, and scared, and a little sad. And he doesn't know how to say any of that, still a little terrified of what comes next. Even more terrified of never finding out.

Tony shifts, drops his eyes, refuses to let Steve catch his gaze again. Hiding behind the dark fan of his eyelashes and pulling away. “Great. Noted. Now are we done here?”

Steve almost says yes. He almost lets it go. But he can't, he can't ignore it anymore. “Not until you look at me.”

“What the- what is that supposed to accomplish?” Tony is red now, flushed and shaking and Steve gets it, he really does.

“Tony. Look at me.” He's practically begging, doesn't even care. He just needs Tony to understand.

Tony looks panicked, scared, eyes wide and so bright. “What? What the hell do you want from me, Steve? What do you want me to say?"

Steve presses his fingers to Tony's jaw and he can't tell which of them is shaking anymore. Probably both. Tony's skin is bruised and swollen under his touch and Steve's chest aches. “I want you to take care of yourself.”

Tony laughs again, softly, a little less bitter, a little more real. "I've never been very good about that.”

And that's true, at least. Painfully true, and Steve can't help but smile. “Then at least let me do it.”

Let me care about you, Steve doesn't say, but he might as well have. Tony still flinches like he heard it anyways and for a moment Steve is frozen. But Tony is leaning into Steve' s hand cupping his face, his pulse racing against Steve's palm. He's not pulling away. He's not running.

Tony looks like he's torn between laughing and crying. His hands land on Steve's hips like he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Holding on tight. "I've never been any good at that either.”

Steve smiles, just a little, because it shows, it really does. But Steve loves a challenge. “We can work on it. You can keep me safe, and I'll make sure you stay alive and in one piece, deal?”

“I- okay. Deal.” Tony's eyes are wet, and warm, surprised and awed and Steve can't help himself, he really can't. When he presses closer Tony still doesn't back away. Like he's finally done running.

Tony's lips taste like coffee, and ash, hint of coppery blood, everything Steve imagined, more than he could have expected. Tony's hands tighten on his sides and Steve has to remind himself to be gentle, gentle. Tony is still hurt, that's the entire reason they're finally, finally having this conversation. Steve only feels a little bad that he's so elated to finally, finally be here.

Tony smiles like the sun rises, slow and warm and gorgeous. “Yeah. Yeah okay. Deal. I can work with that. You and me.”

“Good.” And Steve kisses him again.


End file.
